Category Archives: Steps Toward Healing

Good riddance to the baggage of this day

Letting Go, Steps Toward Healing

I mentioned that this month is a month of “one year anniversaries”. Last week at this time I was at my lowest and darkest. I had friends coming from all angles just to be there and sit with me in my pit. People showed up at my door, texted me, emailed me, called me, showered love on me, and most importantly, they covered me – no, they OVERWHELMED me – with their prayers. I have never felt so low, life had never felt so heavy and impossible – and at the same time I have never felt so **held** and cradled.

Today I am grateful to announce that I am back. I am Mandi again.

One year ago today at this time, he asked me if I wanted to disappear forever. The rest of the day was even more traumatic (and quite frankly, triggering.) One day I will share my private blog where I’ve journaled about that day (and that time in my life – and my marriage in general), but today is not that day.

This has been a year of survival and learning. Learning how to be a single mama. Learning how to “make it” financially without child or spousal support. Learning how to accept help. Learning how to fix things on my own. Learning how to support my babies when they are hurting.

When I look back at this year, I am brought to tears as I see the CROWDS of people that walked with me day by day, week by week, month by month. I have never been alone. Even as I hesitantly look at my time hop/memories, I am seeing that from the very first day, I had my tribe by my side.

Today I make note of this anniversary simply because it’s a page in the chapter of my book – a very important day that helped shaped who I am today.

Moving forward? I’m done being a victim. I am walking forward in confidence. I am seeking out opportunities to pay forward what’s been poured into me. I am stepping out in gratitude, grace, love, and PURPOSE.

I couldn’t begin to list the people I want to thank for surrounding me and helping carry me over the last year. You know who you are, and I want you to know that I am getting myself to a place where I am healthy enough to help you back, and to help others the way you’ve helped me.

My friends, I love you. I love you more than I can find words to express. ❤ ❤ ❤
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Good riddance to the baggage that this day holds, today I choose to set down that weight.

Cocoon

Steps Toward Healing


In my house, I have a snuggle cocoon. Whenever I sense one of my kids needs some mama time, or if someone (usually one of the Littles) gets hurt, I will sit down cross-legged on the ground, wherever I am, and say “do you need a snuggle cocoon?” 
I can’t recall a time when any of my kids turned me down on my snuggle cocoon offer.  They curl up in my lap, and I wrap my arms around them, and we rock and snuggle. It’s one of my favorite parts of my parenting journey.

I was recently INCREDIBLY blessed beyond belief for my birthday and Christmas. The events that took place are enough for a separate blog post. One of the gifts I was given was a special body pillow that I had posted about on facebook, coveting it hardcore.  I was totally surprised by this pillow gift, and from day one it has lived up to the hype.

My friends, I have never slept better. This pillow (used in tandem with my new weighted blanket from my mother in law) has become the most popular spot in the house. The kids clamor to snuggle into my little nest. 

It has also been dubbed My Cocoon. It’s a safe place. It’s a warm place. It’s a cozy place.

Cocoons have become special to me lately. I got to thinking that these last few months of my life, my kids and I have been wrapped in a cocoon. There were times where it was dark, and let’s face it, sometimes being in the dark can be kind of scary. But it was warm. It was cozy. And it was safe. 

My cocoon is made up of God’s grace, lots of prayers, and the unfailing love and support of my beautiful friends and family. We have been completely surrounded on all sides. Protected. Sheltered. Held together when we were so broken and would have otherwise shattered out in all directions.

There are miracles happening inside this cocoon. Beautiful changes are occurring. I can’t see them all yet, and neither can you, but I assure you a transformation is happening. 


I will not be the same woman when I emerge from this cocoon. 

But that’s the point.